SKIT 5 - MONK(EYING) AROUND

Characters:
BaBa Waters - female; hostess of the news program
Commercial Voice - female; lively, animated
Dr. Luther - male; distinguished; dressed in black robe
Katharina von Bora - female; in long dress and apron
Martin - male; young Luther
Katie - female; young Katharina

Props Needed:
Card table, 3 chairs, 3 mics on left in front of altar for BaBa, Dr. Luther and Katharina
Card table with 2 chairs on right side; some dishes on table; easy chair and newspaper; 2 wireless mics for Martin and Katie
Commercial Voice will speak from lectern; needs Luther and Katie bobble head dolls

(as scene opens BaBa is seated at card table in front of altar)

BaBa: Good evening once more, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this final edition of “6 Minutes or Thereabouts.” I’m your hostess, BaBa Waters. Over the past few weeks we’ve had the pleasure of spending this time each week with one of the most towering figures in the history of the last millennium, Dr. Martin Luther. And tonight we are going to be concluding our conversations with Dr. Luther and will be talking with him about his marriage and family life. And not only will Dr. Luther himself be with us here again tonight but we are also going to be joined this evening by his lovely wife, Katharina. So, stay tuned! We’ll be right back after this word from our sponsor.

(while BaBa is talking, Commercial Voice moves to the lectern)

Commercial Voice: Hello friends! Well, this has certainly been an exciting series of Lenten services, hasn’t it? Over the last few weeks we’ve been privileged to have several conversations with Dr. Martin Luther and every one of them has been fascinating. Now, tonight, we’re also going to meet and hear from the lovely, Mrs. Luther, the former Katharina von Bora, and I know that her interview is going to be just as interesting as all the others. And in honor of this momentous occasion when both Dr. and Mrs. Luther are going to be with us here on the same stage, the fine folks at Amazing Church Products want to offer you the opportunity to take the memory home with you by purchasing this fine set of Dr. and Mrs. Martin Luther commemorative bobble head dolls! (show the dolls) Yes, now you, too, can have your very own set of these fine representations of Dr. and Mrs. Luther in your own home! Both dolls are hand crafted from the finest of materials and are guaranteed to last a life time! Their bobbles will never end! And not only will they provide you with years of wonderful memories of this very special occasion here tonight, but they will also provide many, many years of memorable conversations around your coffee table! So, be sure to get yours tonight! Don’t leave here without them! The Dr. and Mrs. Martin Luther bobble head dolls!

BaBa: Welcome back! As I mentioned a moment ago, tonight it is our great pleasure to welcome into our studio, not only Dr. Martin Luther, but also his lovely, vivacious and demure wife, Katharina! (Dr. Luther and Katharina enter to applause and sit down next to BaBa) Welcome to both of you! Dr. Luther, as always, it’s a pleasure to have you back with us tonight. And we are just so pleased, Katharina, that you could join us from the dead, as well!

Dr. Luther: You’re welcome, BaBa, it’s good ....

Katharina: (interrupting and looking at her watch) We are going to be done here by 8:00, right Martin? Remember, you promised. I don’t want to miss tonight’s episode of “Fear Factor - Couple’s Revenge.”

Dr. Luther: (patting her shoulder) Yes, yes, Katie, we’ll be done by 8:00. I promise. Now, if you would just pay attention to Miss Waters here and her questions ....

Katharina: Is this where you’ve been sneaking off to every Wednesday night for the last month? Is it, Martin? Here I thought you were in the chapel on Wednesday nights leading a Bible study for Methodists who wanted to become Lutherans and, instead, you’ve been here every week chatting it up with her? (nodding toward BaBa)

Dr. Luther: Yes, dear, this is where I have been. And we’ve been having some very interesting conversations, too, about many of the things that were so important to both of us during the time of the Reformation.

Katharina: Yeah, I’ll just bet you have. (wagging her finger) Now, you listen to me, Rev. Dr. Martin Q. Luther! If you think for one minute that you’re going to dump me and run off with Miss Water falls here, you can forget it! Not after all I’ve done for you! Why, if it hadn’t been for me keeping you fed and healthy all those years, there wouldn’t have been a Reformation at all and you know it!

BaBa: Excuse me. Excuse me, Mrs. Luther? If I could just interrupt here and get us back on track .... I’m sure our audience would be interested to know how you and Dr. Luther first met. Would you care to tell us about that?

Katharina: Ah, yes, well I suppose I could do that if you want me to. Let’s see, how we first met. Oh, yes, how could I forget. I and several of the other sisters decided we wanted to leave the convent where we were nuns so we wrote a letter to the famous Dr. Luther here and asked him to help us which he agreed to do. I, of course, expected that he would send a limo to pick us up. But a few weeks later, a friend of Dr. Luther’s - a man by the name of Leonard Kopp - had a contract to deliver 12 barrels of herring to our convent which he did. And after he took the herring out of the barrels he hid one of us in each of the empty barrels and then drove us away. And that’s how we escaped! It wasn’t exactly a first class operation! But eventually, the 12 of us made our way to Wittenberg and that’s where Martin and I first met.

Dr. Luther: Ah, yes, and I’ve called her “my little herring” ever since.

BaBa: That’s a very interesting story, Mrs. Luther. And how was it that you and Dr. Luther wound up getting married?

Katharina: Well, you might as well know the truth about that, too. He wasn’t my first choice nor was I his. But after several years all the other former nuns who had escaped from the convent with me had either gone back to their homes or were married and I was the only one left. I guess he felt kind of sorry for me and, so, in June of 1525 we were married.

Dr. Luther: Oh, I didn’t exactly feel sorry for you, Katie. You were always able to hold your own with anyone and you took care of yourself pretty well. But I did grow to love you very much as you know.

Katharina: Yes, that’s certainly true. I’ll give you that, Martin. And we did have some wonderful times together during those years. We had 6 children of our own and raised several others who had been orphaned. And, then, there were all those students of yours from the University always dropping in at all times of the day and night! Sometimes I thought they would eat us out of house and home!

Dr. Luther: I know that was quite a burden on you, Katie, but you always rose to the challenge. Remember that day when you thought of asking everyone to share in those dinners? I thought your idea was absolutely inspired!

(young Martin takes his place in the easy chair and opens the newspaper; young Katie fusses around the table with the dishes)

Martin: Oh, Katie, by the way, I invited a few of my students to drop over after a while for some dinner and conversation again tonight.

Katie: Now, Martin, I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to do that anymore. I mean we have so many mouths to feed around this house already. How can we possibly feed any more?

Martin: Where there’s a will, there’s a way, Katie, and I know you’ll figure something out. You always do.

Katie: Yes, I guess I do. But, you know, it’s getting harder all the time. Some of those students of yours can eat like there’s no tomorrow! Take that tall skinny guy from Turtle Lake, for example. Buzzy, is that what you call him? He can put down 3 Tombstones faster than any man alive! I’ve never seen anything like it! And the cost of those frozen pizzas is going through the roof! I don’t know how much longer we can afford to keep doing this, Martin. If only some of those students were able to bring along something to share when they come, that would help a lot.

Martin: I know, dear. But you know that most of them are so poor that they’re not lucky enough to have a pot to their name let alone something to put in one.

Katie: Yes, I know but if they were lucky enough to have a pot of their own and something to put in it, I wonder if they’d be willing to bring it and share it.

Martin: Oh, I’m sure they would, my dear. All we’d have to do is ask. You know that. They’re great kids, all of them.

Katie: Well, you know what, Martin? Tonight after dinner I’m going to announce that everyone who is lucky enough to have a pot and something to put in it should do that for tomorrow night and bring it along with them when they come for dinner. We’ll call it our “Lucky Pot Night” or our “Pot Lucky Night” or something like that. Who knows? Maybe it will catch on!

Martin: That’s a wonderful idea, my little herring! What would I ever do without you?

(scene moves back to BaBa Waters, Dr. Luther and Katharina - young Katie sits at the table; young Martin remains in easy chair)

BaBa: And, so, that was the beginning, then, of church pot luck dinners?

Dr. Luther: Yes, it was, BaBa, and all the credit goes to Katie here, my little herring.

Katharina: Well, I don’t want to take all the credit but it was my idea and it did help a lot. And, in those days, we needed all the help we could get.

BaBa: Yes, and speaking of that, Mrs. Luther, I understand that you handled all the family’s finances, too. Is that correct?

Katharina: Oh, absolutely, BaBa! Martin here could quote the Bible frontwards and backwards and do so in several languages but he couldn’t balance a checkbook if his life depended on it!

BaBa: And what was the family’s main source of income in those days?

Katharina: Well, I like to tell people it was mostly prayer! But I did run a small farm and we sold chickens and eggs at the local market in town. And Martin here did earn an income from the hymns and books he wrote and the sermons he preached so we managed to get along.

Dr. Luther: Yes, we did. Oh and Katie, don’t forget to tell Miss Waters here about your invention of the church cookbook. That was a big seller and managed to get us through 2 whole winters!

Katharina: That did go over pretty well, didn’t it, Martin? People just loved my recipe for rice pudding and I still get requests for it from time to time.

BaBa: Well, our time is almost up for tonight, Dr. and Mrs. Luther, so let me thank the both of you very much for being with us. I know you must have a very busy schedule up there in Heaven.

Katharina: Oh, you don’t know the half of it, girl! (getting up from her chair and pulling on Dr. Luther’s arm to drag him along) Come along, Martin. There are still a lot of Methodists up there who ought to be Lutherans.

Dr. Luther: I know, Katie. I know.

(the Luthers leave center stage to applause)

BaBa: And that’s our show for tonight, folks! Thanks for being with us! I’m BaBa Waters saying, “Good night and God bless!”